Snow on the Road

Can we be our own intervention?  Our our savior?  Our own hero?

Do we need someone else to save us or can we save ourselves?

Bailout? Handout? Hand up? Get up? 

Where is the switch I need to click?

Where is the dial I need to turn?

Get this party started....but what if I am alone?

Can I get the party started by myself?

The power of one. The power of me.

I'm going to try.  Yoda says "Do or Do not".

Then...

I do.

I have been asked to write again.

Why is that such a hard thing?  I do not know what to write about.

Actually, the issue is that there are so many thoughts in my head, they all try to force themselves out all at once if I ever try to sit and let them out.  Like a steaming tea kettle they burst through a small opening and threaten tearing apart the entire pot.

I guess it is fear then that sometimes prevents me from writing.

Maybe I should call it typing.  I am after all typing at a keyboard.  No ink No quill No ball poin pen.  Just a keyboard and my mind.  A keyboard IN my mind.  Click Click Click.  Many things to say and a physical keyboard to force them through.  Sometimes I forget the sentence half way through because I have to translate my thought into physical action.... typing.  Left brain to Right brain. Synapse to synapse.  Lost in translation, perhaps perhaps.

I never really understood that movie "Lost in Translation".  It was very lonely.  I don't want to be lonely.  I don't want to think about it in my active mind.  But I know it is there under the surface.  Always in motion but just out of reach.

What would I do if I caught it?  Am I angry for being lonely?  Angry with myself?  Angry with the world out there somewhere.  Looking for someone else to blame instead of taking responsibility for my own domain?

I believe we are all each independently alone. I think we did this on purpose.  I do not know why but I suppose that is the point.  My belief in a god is that god walks among us.  In fact I believe that God is us; divided into pieces and spread upon the Earth.  Why?  Oh I do not know.  I am not God but a piece of something greater than I can't possibly understand.

It's the holiday's again and a recession to boot.  I almost lost my job again and I have been shocked back to the reality of life.  What if I had lost my job?  Suddenly I am reconnecting to my neighborhood and the plight of the poorer.  Of course today's poor is yesterday's wealthy.  And today's wealthy is tomorrow's poor.

Take yourself back 20 years with all of the material things you currently own in your life; cell phones, computers, hybrid cars.  You would be seen as wealthy (maybe even an alien form another planet).  So what is poor and what is rich?  Place a poor man in the past and you will create a rich speculator.  Place a rich man into the future and you will get a poor immigrant. 

So what should we do?

I feel as though my life has not slowed down or taken a break in a few years.  It always seems like it is just on the brink on another change.  Today my worksite announced more changes.  I will have my third new boss and a new area since November (only 2 months ago).  Constant Change.  Changing Constantly.  When does it stop?

Maybe that's the trick.  To understand that motion isn't really movement at all.  Its just the background noise for lack of a better term.  Accept the fact that everything will be different tomorrow.  Constant change.  It will always be different.  You can count on it being different everday.  It is realiable and unfailing.  So what do we do about it?

I would love to break away from my current job.  I start my first Masters' class at UMass Boston on Tuesday.  It's part of the school of Dispute Resolution.  The class is titled Negotiation.  I eagerly await the subject matter.  The last class I took was a digital photography class.  That class opened a new horizon for me.

Maybe embracing change is about discovering something new in life.  Since it is always new, there is always something to discover.  Life doesn't end, it just keeps going.

One of my family members recently passed away.  I found comfort in this piece of writing:

Life is Eternal

I am standing upon the seashore.  A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.  She is an object of beauty and strength and I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of cloud just where the sea and sky mingle together.  Then someone at my side says: "There!  She's gone."  Gone where?  Gone from my sight... That is all.  She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as when she left my side, and just as able to bear her load to her port of destination.  Her diminished size is in me, not in her; and just at that moment when someone at my side says, "There!  She's gone," there are other eyes watching her arrival and other voices ready to take up the glad shout:  "Here she comes!"

_{http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP.html}

Portrait of an INFP - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
(Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Intuition)